Slap in the Face

Waiting at Shinagawa Station for the train that would take us to Narita Airport

 Tuesday, May 12th,--Today is the day.  The day some of us have been looking forward to, and the day that some of us have been dreading.  It was time to go back to America.  Back home.  Only, for most of us, we have never felt more at home than we do in Japan.  Japan has become our home in every sense of the word.  The place where we feel accepted.  The society that matches our own philosophies for life.
We spent the morning finishing up the packing, bathing everyone, and getting the apartment completely empty.  The utilities were shut off one by one.  Instead of shutting off the utilities and sending you a bill later on like is done in the U.S., a representative comes on the day appointed to terminate the service.  He shuts the utility off and you pay him in full at that time and your account is closed.  It's a very slick process.  So, because of this, we had men coming to our apartment all morning to shut off our electricity, gas, water, and internet service and get the final payment for our accounts.
We also had to tie things up with our bank account.  Getting a bank account was kind of a big deal here.  Not everyone can get one.  Ray had to dress in a suit and tie when he went to apply for it.  The banks deny applications for accounts all the time.  We needed one because Ray was paid by direct deposit for his internship.  We wanted to close our account, but we couldn't because the owner of the building we live in needed to put our deposit back into our Tokyo bank account.  So, we had to leave the country with our bank account still open.
A man came to shut off the water and then knocked on the door asking for payment.  He didn't speak English and I don't know Japanese, but I knew what he needed.  He showed me the final bill amount, but I couldn't pay him because Ray had gone to the bank to get things taken care of there and he had all of our yen.  I tried to ask him to wait for a few minutes until my husband came back, but he didn't understand and thought I was trying to get out of paying him.  He became very irate and called our realtor, Okubo san, and was screaming at her over the phone.  He handed the phone to me and I explained the situation to her.  She told me that Americans are known for trying to get out of paying their bills and he that's what he thought I was doing.  I gave the phone back to him and Obuko san explained to him that Ray had our money and would be back soon, if he could just wait.  Within a couple of minutes, Raymond showed up and paid the irritated man.  I was embarrassed by the reputation of my country and how I was treated when he thought I was trying to blow him off and not pay our bill.
By lunch time, we were ready to go.  Okubo san came to get the keys and inspect the apartment.  Since it's being torn down we didn't deep clean it, but we did wipe things down and sweep.  She hugged us and bade us good-bye.  We knelt down in our empty front room and said a family prayer.  We thanked God for this incredible experience and asked for a safe return to America.  Then, we all loaded up with our carry-on bags and began walking to Ebisu Station.  (Our large luggage was picked up on Sunday by a delivery service and was waiting for us at the airport.)
We made it down to Lawson's and crossed the street.  Because we had spent so much time with Okubo san, we were a couple of minutes behind schedule and we were trying to hurry the kids along with their carry-ons and bags.  We HAD to get to Shinagawa Station by a certain time or else we would miss our train and then miss our flight.  We had to take the metro from Ebisu to Shinagawa, and if we had to wait for a train it would take even more time.  Ray just decided that it was too much for the kids to handle, so he hailed two taxis so that we could make up the time.  The taxis drove us right to Shinagawa and we were able to walk through the station instead of running and maybe even missing our train.
The train drove through Tokyo as it took us to Narita Airport.  We all didn't say much as we watched the city pass by us followed by the rice fields.
As we left the terminal and entered the jet bridge, three beautiful Japanese flight attendants bowed to us and wished us a safe journey.  We bowed back and fought back the tears, knowing that this was probably the last time we would bow to someone in greeting.
We got settled in our seats on the plane and took off into the blue sky, heading east toward America.  We should have been excited to go home, but instead we felt like we were leaving home.
The flight attendants were Japanese.  Their hair was up in a french twist.  Their make-up was perfect.  They were dressed in blazers, skirts and heels.  All of them wore pearl necklaces.  They looked professional, fresh, and refined.  Flawless.  They bowed as they served us dinner, and bowed again whenever they came by to see if we were comfortable.
One by one, everyone started to fall asleep.  I had a window seat, and Tayla was sitting right in front of me.  As I was looking out the window and crying, I realized that Tayla was still awake and was also crying.  I reached up and held her hand.  We sat like that for hours, both of us looking out our windows, holding hands, and crying our eyes out.
Tayla eventually drifted off to sleep and I was left alone.  I was too upset to sleep, so I just continued to look out the window.  As I did this, I witnessed a truly majestic sight.  As the plane sped east, the dark night slowly began to turn into dawn.  At one point, to the right was complete darkness full of stars and to the left I could see the sun peeking over the earth as dawn approached.  It was a truly heavenly experience.  I tried to wake the family up to witness such splendor with me, but everyone was dead to the world.
We landed in San Francisco with the sun fully overhead and shining down on California's green hills and beautiful beaches.
We got off the plane and into line for customs.  We had a lot of carry-ons and bags and a lot of kids, but we moved our way up the line just fine.  By now, our kids are experts at getting along with a lot of bags.  Within minutes of standing in line, we were shocked by the things that were being said to us.  Perfect strangers were yelling at us to get out of line.  We had too many kids and it would take too long for our passports to get stamped.  I heard several people ask what kind of idiots have that many kids?  We were stunned.  It was a huge slap in the face.  We hadn't slowed anyone down, what was everyone's problem?

We got through customs and went to the baggage claim.  We got 5 luggage carts and loaded them to the hilt.  Thank goodness for these luggage carts!  We had to get these carts through security before we could board our next flight for Salt Lake City.
At security, we parked our carts in a corner against the wall and had all of the kids stand right next to them so as not to be in the way.  As we were getting organized, a lady came up and ran right into Audra and Nathan with her luggage, knocking them down.  She swore at us and yelled at us to get out of her way.  I was so shocked and upset.  The two kids were right against our luggage which was right against the wall.  There was a large, wide open space for her to take her luggage through and she had to go out of her way to hit the kids.
What is matter with everyone!??  Is this America!?
I cried as we made it through security.  These were not the sorrowful tears that I shed on the plane.  These were tears of anger.  Yes, I had been up all night and traveled halfway around the world.  But, that is not why I was upset.  I was upset at the fact that Americans are rude, crude, and selfish.  Disgusting.  For the first time, we were seeing Americans through the lens of a foreigner.  It was not something to be proud of.  We were all ashamed to be American.
By the time we found the gate for our flight, every single one of us was very ready to be getting back on a plane.  A plane right back to Japan, where people are civil and polite.  We boarded a plane, but the pilot took us further east and dropped us off at the Salt Lake City Airport.
Even the flight attendants on this last flight were a shock for us.  They wore sneakers, slacks, and a button down shirt.  Their hair was up in a messy pony tail that had been caught up in whatever was holding their hair up.  No make-up.  No jewelry.  They looked sloppy.  No grace, no polish.  We had grown accustomed to the refinement and beauty of Japanese women.  Seeing sloppiness on a woman was a little bit of shock.
We didn't really have a culture shock when we went to Japan.  We were very surprised to find that we were going to have a tremendous culture shock coming back to America.

Thankfully, all of our luggage made it.  We gathered it all up and waited outside the airport while Dad went and got our Excursion.  Both of our cars have been parked at Grandma Maughan's in Layton while we have been in Japan.  My Uncle Eric drove the Excursion down to the airport and parked it for us.  We were grateful to him.

We were all in a stunned state, as well as physically and emotionally spent.  As we waited for Dad and watched people go by, we were surprised at how fat and sloppy everyone looked.  That's mean to say, but it was something that we couldn't help but notice.  It was almost an out of body experience.  We all just sat next to our luggage in a stupor....except for Kirstin.  She was SO HAPPY to be out of planes and confined spaces and was ready to run!

After what seemed like a long time, we spotted the Excursion in the distance.  YAY!!  OUR CAR!!!

Oh, it's a beautiful sight!

It seemed like our vehicle was glowing!  Angels were singing!  Oh, how we have missed having a car to get around in!  Makes life so much easier.  It took some doing to get all of the luggage and kids loaded up, but we made it.

This picture is of Topher in December as we were getting ready to leave her in the care of G. and G. Boyer.  She knew we were leaving her and she was sad.  She loves the kids....I think she sees them as her own babies.
It was wonderful to see Grandma Maughan again, talk to Grandma Ann on the phone, and see Grandma and Grandpa Boyer.  We were also so happy to see our dog, Topher.  She wasn't doing well and was diagnosed with diabetes shortly after we left the states.  We had been worried about her and praying that she would still be alive when we got back.  Grandpa Boyer made it his mission to make sure she was still here when we got back, and he was successful.  They took amazing care of her!  The kids were so happy to see her!
Grandma Boyer asked the kids what they had missed the most while we were in Japan, and they told her that they couldn't wait to eat pizza and ice cream again.  She had plenty of both at her house when we got there, but she wanted to serve us a nice dinner to welcome us back.  She made ham, funeral potatoes, rolls and green beans.  What a lovely meal, but our systems were not used to this kind of food and even though we were careful not to eat too much, we all had upset stomachs from it.

After spending two nights at G. and G. Boyer's, we got into the Excursion and drove to Wyoming.  We were exhausted and jet lagged, but we had very exciting events to attend.  Mom graduated in Casper with her BS in Elementary Education (5/15) and the next day Dad graduated in Laramie with his law degree (5/16).  Grandma and Grandpa Hansen attended both graduations, so we were able to reunite with them then.
Our family has been working and sacrificing toward these graduations for a long time, and that's what got us on the plane in Tokyo.  If it hadn't been for these graduations, I'm not sure we would have even come back to America.  Instead, we might have been in the immigration office seeing what we could do to stay in Japan indefinitely.